When A Pet Passes (Managing Grief)

When a beloved pet passes away (because all living things eventually pass away), it’s normal to experience sadness, grieve, and look to loved ones for consolation. Recognize that your sadness is normal and that mourning your pet’s loss is necessary and acceptable.

The mourning process
Grieving is not a straightforward process. Rather than progressing through the phases of sorrow one after the other, you might wander in and out of them. It’s normal to feel better for a while, but then to experience another wave of grief. Usually, the process starts with denial, which provides a shield until people become aware of their loss.

Anger can be directed towards friends, family, veterinarians, or anyone connected to the pet. Along with feeling guilty about what they did or did not do, caregivers may also feel embarrassed about how upset they are.

They can start to withdraw or feel down. When they acknowledge the truth of their loss and recall their animal friend with less sorrow, they have reached the stage of acceptance. Recall that you do not have to “get over” or forget your friend to experience healthy grief. It just lets you come to terms with their absence and, in the end, find joy in their memories.

Managing Bereavement
Grieving is an individual experience, but you don’t have to deal with your loss by yourself. Here are some ideas to get you through it:

• Accept your sadness and allow yourself to feel it. 
• Permit yourself to cry. The quiet in your house may seem overwhelming if you live alone, but accepting it will help you be ready for any feelings that may arise. Your grieving may last longer if you try to ignore your depressive emotions.
• Avoid reliving the last moments you shared with your pet. Reminiscing about your pet’s last days or moments is common, particularly if they were distressing. Instead, give attention to the life you had with your pet and some of your most treasured moments spent with them. Recall that your pet’s suffering is over. Right now, you are the one who is hurting, so take good care of yourself.

Commemorate your pet with a ritual of grief. You could:

• Send pictures and memories of your pet on social media. Spread your pet’s ashes in a meaningful location, or set aside a space in your house for the remains and pictures of your beloved companion.
• In honor of your pet, plant a native tree or flowering shrub.
• Use your pet’s favorite toys or collars to create a memory box for them.
• Get a product that creates a memorial necklace, bracelet, ring, or suncatcher with the ashes of your pet.

• Get a memorial stone, painting, sculpture, or plush animal depiction of your beloved pet made on commission. Practice expressing sadness in a way that is unique to your culture. Write down how you’re feeling, or compose a letter to your pet outlining all the things you want to say to them or how you want to spend their final day.
• Write your pet’s obituary.

While there isn’t any one-step-fits-all approach to mourning a pet, we believe that the steps outlined here may help you heal from a pet’s loss.